"One reason we struggle with insecurity; we're comparing our behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel." -Steven Furtick
Yesterday I saw this quote on Twitter, and it really spoke to me. Later, I saw that a few bloggers, Jenn and Whitney, were doing posts about their "behind the scenes". I liked the idea so much, that I decided to write my own "behind the scenes" post.
First, let me start by telling you that I am a very insecure person. I look around at all these other moms who seem to have it all together. They are always on time, they dress well, their hair and make up looks great, their kids are always clean and looking nice, etc. Then I think to myself, "If I could just be more like her...", or "I wish my life was as perfect as her's...".
There are times when people give me much more credit than I deserve. I am definitely not Supermom, although I have been told before that I am. I am not an organized person, but I have gotten comments about how I seem to have it all together. As much as I appreciate those comments, I also cower inside thinking that I have led someone to believe that I have it all together, or that I am always a certain way. If only they could be a fly on the wall in my house to see my day to day happenings, my good and my bad
- I am great about putting our dirty clothes in the washer and dryer. In fact, I don't mind that part at all. It's the folding/hanging and putting away part that I don't like. On any given day you will find several loads of clean clothes sitting in baskets in the floor of my room, the laundry room, the bathroom, etc.
- Very rarely do I ever cook dinner. Most of the time we go out to eat, get take out, or Jaime cooks. I do cook sometimes, but when I do, it is usually either spaghetti or tacos.
- Unless I have somewhere to go that day, I am probably sitting around the house in my PJ's without makeup, and with my hair up in a sloppy ponytail. In fact, that's how I am right now this very moment. Most of the time Aiden would still be in his PJ's too, but we are potty training so he is only wearing underwear right now.
- Sometimes at night after the kids are in bed, I feel so guilty for not spending enough time with them, not talking to the enough, not playing with them enough, yelling too much, being too busy, etc etc etc. Sometimes on those nights I feel so guilty that I will go get them out of their bed, and let them sleep with me in my bed to make up for it.
- We usually pay our bills late. Not because we can't afford them, but because I forget to pay them. In fact, our cable has been turned off before simply because I forgot to pay the bill. Even after it was off, I still didn't remember. I even called the cable company to report a problem with our cable. They told me that there wasn't a problem, it was turned off because I never paid the bill. Oops!
- Sometimes I will go into the bathroom, shut and lock the door, and just pretend that I'm using the bathroom. I will do anything for a few minutes of quiet time.
- My children watch TV more often than I'd like to admit.
- Our bed is unmade more than it is made.
- If you were to come over to my house unannounced, you would probably find my house is a mess. Complete with a sink full of dishes, mail and other random papers all over the place, toys in the floor of every room, and clothes (most of them dirty) all over the house.
- I drink more Coke than I should, and I only drink water when we have nothing else to drink. I will drink a glass of milk or juice before I will even consider drinking water.